The Psychiatric Ward

*stares at it* I wouldn't of noticed that

it looks fine, Derek. most people will think that it's part of the wreath-looking thing behind them.

..... I have a book.
It's hilarious.
I will now post some of it.
But I'm warning you, you must be smart to understand the following, in which will have NO UNINTENTIONAL SPELLING ERRORS, but will contain hazardous amounts of fail. ... here goes.

WORLD HISTORY
The following is a 'history' collected by teachers throughout the U.S., from students in the eigth grade through college level.

The inhabitants of ancient Egypt were called mummies. They lived in the Sarah Dessert and traveled by Camelot. The climate of the Sarah is such that the inhabitants have to live elsewhere, so areas of the dessert are clutivated by irritation. The Egyptians built the Pyramids in the shape of a large triangular cube. The Pyramids are a mountain range between France and Spain.


------- do I contiue?

;_; Now I have to re-do the whole sig....

Shay... XD

nice sig shay!
tgif, btw

I'll continue for a while......



The Bible is full of interesting cariactures. In the first book of the Bible, Guinnesses, Adam and Eve were created out of an apple tree. One of their children, Cain, once asked, "Am I my brother's son?"
God asked Abraham to sacrifice Issaac on mount Montezuma.
Jacob, son of Isaac, stole his brother's birthmark. Jacob was a patriarch who brought up his twelve sons to be patriarchs, but they did not take it. One of Jacob's sons, Joseph, gave refuse to the Isrealites.
Pharoah forced the Hebrew slaves to make bread without straw. Moses led them to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bread, which is bread made without any ingredients. Afterwards, Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the Ten Commandments.
David was a Hebrew king skilled at playing the liar. He fought with the Philatelists, a race of people who lived in the Biblical times. Solomon, one of David's sons, had 500 wives and 500 porcupines.
Without the Greeks, we wouldn't have history. The Greeks invented three kinds of columns- Corinthian, Doric, ad Ironic. They also had myths. A myth is a female moth. One myth says that the mother of Achilles dipped him in the River Stynx until he became intolerable. Achilles appears in The Iliad, by Homer. Homer also wrote The Oddity, in which Penelope was the last hardship that Ulysses endured in his journey. Actually, Homer was not written by Homer but by another man of that name.
Socrates was a famous Greek teacher who went around giving people advice. They killed him. Socrates died from an overdose of wedlock.
In the Olympic games, Greeks ran races, hurled the biscuits, and threw the java. The reward to the victor was a coral wreath.
The government of Athens was democratic because people took the law into their own hands. There were no wars in Greece, as the mountains were so high that they couldn't climb over to see what their neighbors were doing. When they fought the Persians, the Greeks were outnumbered because the Persians had more men.
Eventually, the Romans conquered the Greeks. History calls people Romans because they never stayed in one place for too long. At Roman banquets, the guests wore garlic in their hair. ulius Caesar extinguished himself on the battlefields of Gaul. The Ides of March murdered him because they thought he was going to be made a king.
Nero was a cruel tyranny who would torture his poor subjects by playing the fiddle to them.
Then came the Middle Ages, King Alfred conquered the Dames. King Arthur lived in the Age of Shivery; King Harold mustarded his troops before the Battle of Hastings, and Joan of Arc was canonized by Bernard Shaw.
The Magna Carta provided that no free man should be hanged twice for the same offense.
In medieval times, most of the people were alliterate. The greatest writer of the time was Chaucer, who wrote many poems and versus and also wrote literature. Another tale tells of William Tell, who shot an arrow through and apple while standing on his son's head.
The Renaissance was an age in which more individuals felt the value of their human being. It was an age of great inventions and discoveries. Gutenburg invented the Bible. Another important invention was the circulation of blood.
The government of England was a limited mockery. Henry VIII found walking dificult because he had an abbess on his knee. Queen Elizabeth was a success. Her navy went out and defeated the Spanish Armadillo.
The greatest writer of the Renaissance was Willian Shakespeare. Shakespeare never made much money and is only famous because of his plays. He lived at Windsor with his merry wives, writing tragedies, comeies, and errors. In one of Shakespeare's famous plays, Lady MacBeth tries to convince MacBeth to kill the king. Romeo and Juliet are an example of a heroic couplet.
Writing at the same time as Shakespeare was Miguel Cervantes. He wrote Donkey Hote. The next great author was John Milton. Milton wrote Paradise Lost. Then his wife died and he wrote Paradise Regained.
During the Renaissance, America began. Christopher Columbus was a great navigator who discovered America. His ships were the Nina, the Pinta, and the Santa Fe. Later, the Pilgrims crossed the ocean, and this was known as Pilgrims Progress. When they landed at Plymouth Rock, they were greeted by the Indians, who came down the hill rolling their war hoops before them. The Indian squabs carried porpoises on their backs. Many of the Indian heroes were killed, along with their cabooses, which proved very fatal for them. The winter of 1620 was a hard one for the settlers. Many people died and many babies were born. Captain John Smith was responsible for all this.
One of the causes of the Revolutionary War was the English put tacks in their tea. Also, the colonists would send their parcels through the post without post stamps. During the War, the Red Coats and Paul Revere were throwing balls' over stone walls. The dogs were barking and the peacocks crowing. Finally, the colonists won the war and no longer had to pay for taxis.
Delegates from the original thirteen states formed the Contented Congress. Thomas Jefferson, a Virgin, and Benjamin Franklin were two singers of the Declaration of Independence.
Franklin had gone to Boston carrying all his clothes in his pocket and a loaf of bread under each arm. He invented electricity by rubbing two cats backwards and declared, "A horse divided against itself cannot stand." Franklin died in 1790 and is still dead.
George Washington married Martha Curtis and in due time became the Father of Our Country. Then the Constitution of the United States was adopted to secure domestic hostility. Under the Constitution, the people enjoyed the right to keep bare arms.

------- shall I continue?

i knew all that.

Shay, don't make me read that. I want to keep my brain un-exploded today D;

... it's a joke. IT PHAILS.
Did you not die of phail overload or something?
The passage doesn't even make sense....
And Derek, that's only a third of it.


« Last edited by skymin on 8th Jan 2010 »

lol
so, whats up guys?
will needs to give me his wii numba so we can have a brawl later today

I might go soon, you reminded my I was gonna brawl with mah friend from school today.

o ya?
we could have a brawl later today if ya want

That reminds me. We should Brawl Nick. :D

I think I finally fixed that Kimmy thing. Filled in the empty spaces

Shay... XDXDXD O_o XD That is BRILLIANT!
I love stupid people.

Thank you, Cam.
And Nick, I can give you mah FC later, k?

Where are you getting them from Shay?

It's called the Teacher, Teacher joke book by Jennifer Hahn.
It is so very epic.
Wanna hear the 'final exam' part?
Here goes....

FINAL EXAM
Instrucions: Read each question carefully. Answer all questions.
Time limit: 4 hours. begin immediately.

Art: Given an eight-count box of crayons and three sheets of notebook paper, re-create the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel. Skin tones should be true to life.

Chemistry: You must identify a poison sample, which you will find at your lab table. All necessary equipment has been provided. There are two beakers at your desk, one of which holds the antidote. If the wrong substance is used, it causes instant death. You may begin as soon as the instructor injects you with a sample of the poison. We feel this will give you incentive to find the correct answer.

Civil Engineering: This is a test of your design and building skills. With the boxes of toothpicks and glue present, build a platform that will support your weight when you and your platform are suspended over a vat of nitric acid.

Computer Science: Write a fifth-generation computer language. Using this language, write a computer program to finish the rest of this exam for you.

Economics: Develop a realistic plan for refinancing the national debt. Trace all possible effects of your plan in the following areas: Cubism, the Donatist Controversy, and the Wave Theory of Light. Outline a method from all possible points of view, as demonstrated in your answer to the last question.

Electrical Engineering: You will be placed in a nuclear reactor and given a partial copy of the layout. The electrical system has been tampered with. You have seventeen minutes to find and correct the problem before the reactor melts down.

Engineering: The dissasembled parts of a high-powered rifle have been placed on your desk. You will also find an instruction manual, printed in Swahili. In ten minutes, a hungry Bengal tiger will be released into the room. Take whatever action you feel appropriate. Be prepared to justify your decision.

Epistemology: Take a posistion for or against truth. Prove the validity of your stand.

General Knowledge: Describe in detail. Be objective and specific.

.... shall I continue?

Uh Derek I have a question

What is it Rio? :D

Is Sam REALLY a boy?

« Last edited by Rio222 on 8th Jan 2010 »